From A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield

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Every spiritual life entails a succession of difficulties because every ordinary life also involves a succession of difficulties, what the Buddha described as the inevitable sufferings of existence.  In a spiritually informed life, however, these inevitable difficulties can be the source of our awakening, of deepening wisdom, patience, balance, and compassion.  Without this perspective, we simply bear our sufferings like an ox or a foot soldier under a heavy load.

Quoting Don Juan, “Only as a [spiritual] warrior can one understand the path of knowledge.  A warrior cannot complain or regret anything.  His life is an endless challenge and challenges cannot possibly be good or bad.  Challenges are simply challenges.  The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or a curse.”

Spiritual maturity understands that the process of awakening goes through many seasons and cycles.

We began to see that the spiritual path asked more of us than it appeared to offer.  From romantic visions of practice, people began to wake up and realize that spirituality required an honest, courageous look into our real-life situations, our family of origin, our place in the society around us.  [T]hrough growing wisdom and disillusioning experience, we began to give up the idealistic notion of spiritual life and community as a way to escape the world or save ourselves.

Quoting Lao Tzu, “She who is centered in the Tao can go where she wishes without danger.  She perceives the universal harmony, even amid great pain, because she has found peace in her heart.

Recharge

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Last week I spent four days in Sequoia National Park, courtesy of a dear friend.  I woke up every morning, ate breakfast, and spent the entirety of each day walking on different trails.  Much of the time I was by myself, surrounded by nature.  Thinking I would have a lot of quiet time, I brought my laptop and journals, planning to write and get a head start on a few Ancient Seeker posts.  Total waste of energy and space.  Our phones did not work.  There was no wi-fi, no cellular, no internet.

After walking all day, my friend and I talked nonstop until we went to sleep; then, woke up for another day of hiking for me and retreat activities for her.  On our last day, we hiked together.  For both of us, it turned out to be the most beautiful hike of our trip.  I was filled with immeasurable gratitude for being in the midst of a modern day Garden of Eden, complete with black bears with which I learned to share paths.

It took me a week after returning home to turn on my computer and that was only because a friend wanted to Skype.  I didn’t feel like doing anything.  I didn’t post Ancient Seeker.  After a few days, I became depressed.  I didn’t know what was going on, what was wrong with me.  Prior to the trip, I had been eating healthfully and exercising; afterwards, I began to stuff myself with ice cream and buttered popcorn and chips and pasta.  What was going on?

A week after my return, I hit rock bottom – again.  I’ve had many rock bottom episodes throughout the years, where I feel like I cannot take another step.  I cannot continue to live like “this.”  I feel tired and hopeless and cannot see any way out of this mess.  Nevertheless, as I lay down to sleep, I remembered Job and didn’t want to complain as he did and express my frustration with God.  As long as I remained awake, I repeated my mantra: “I praise God.  I thank God.”

When I awoke, I felt like meditating.  I love my meditation room and feel so blessed to have it.  As I sat this morning, I left outside my worries about the mortgage, very much needed repairs, financial concerns, and other life challenges.  Right this very moment, the walls have not fallen.  I can walk, kneel, bow, praise, and be thankful.  I can sit and feel the infinite magnificence of the Eternal.

I had a wonderful meditation.  I was focused.  My mind wandered very little.  I felt that I went deeper than I had in months.  I felt joy.  I felt connection.  I saw the trees of Sequoia again, not visually, not in physical form, but with a seeing that was through some other type of eyes.

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Retraining the Mind

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Retraining the Mind

I repeatedly refer to The Infinite Way by Joel Goldsmith.  Whenever I feel that I am not sufficiently progressing towards the spiritual awareness I desire, I find passages that let me know that I am being judgmental and self-condemning.  Enlightenment is not a static condition, a place where you arrive and remain in eternity.  Life in all its forms ebbs and flows, dies and is resurrected.  The nature of existence is change.

Joel Goldsmith states: “Spiritual illumination may be attained by living constantly in the consciousness of the presence of perfection, by the continual translation of the visible picture into the reality.  We are being faced with discordant appearances all through our days and nights, and these must immediately be translated through our understanding of the ‘new tongue,’ the language of Spirit.

Translate the pictures and incidents of daily existence into the new tongue, the language of Spirit, and consciousness will expand until translation occurs without even taking thought.  It becomes a habitual state of consciousness, a constant awareness of Truth.”

Many mornings, I wake up worried about my finances.  How will I pay my bills this month?  It is challenging to keep my mind stayed on Reality and not be distracted by the Illusion of my daily visible pictures.  Utilizing various tools, I analogize a given situation to the suggestion for monitoring alcohol consumption at a party: one glass of water to one glass of wine.  As I worry, I replace anxious thoughts with exercising, reading, listening to inspirational music, writing, meditating, or stating a mantra “This isn’t my Reality” or “As the Principle of Supply in action, it is impossible for me to have any needs or unfulfilled desires.”  The latter is taken from The Abundance Book by John Randolph Price.

Worrying can become so constant that it becomes an unconscious normal state of mind.  Thus, I have to incorporate new habits of thinking throughout the day with every activity.  While driving, when I think my car is overdue for maintenance that I can’t afford, I switch to giving thanks that my car is still running, getting me to and from where I need and desire to go.  As I walk, instead of focusing on all of the undone items on my to-do list, I am thankful that I am able to walk unassisted.  I revel in the beauty that surrounds me.  Thank God for my sight!  When I hear a song, I think of happy memories associated with it.  I change the station if a song is not pleasing to me.

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Life – Infinitely Creating and Destroying

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I read excerpts from the 1492 journals of Christopher Columbus. It is amazing that the Spaniards could land on a clearly inhabited island, state a few declarations and, thereby, claim that place and its people as possessions of the King and Queen of Spain.  Columbus noted that the people were very friendly, were unfamiliar with weapons such as swords, and would make good servants.  There was never a thought that this was a sovereign land with people of equal worth, free will, and determination.

This is the way that the world was and is conquered.  The violent intruders succeed, prevail, and prosper.  The indigenous people are killed, enslaved, and assimilated by blood and culture.  Where is Spirit in all of this, I frequently ask?

During my meditation, an answer came that Spirit endures.  It continues as men and regimes come and go.  Destruction and creation occur, even without mortal intervention, in the forms of fires, earthquakes, floods, asteroids falling from space and other disasters.  Life ends, begins, and constantly regenerates itself after every trauma.

What then should our response be in the face of threat?  There is no one right or wrong because everyone believes in their right and the other’s wrong.  There is only action and the consequences of that action.  Because Spirit endures, there is no eternal loss or death.  Each generation, each re-emerged life, repeats the struggle of trying to birth what is deemed good and fair and productive and creative.  At some point and somewhere, an evolved species emerges, but the cycle repeats itself again and again – creation and destruction indefinitely.  Because that is Life.

So how should we behave? What is the point of trying to live with virtue and integrity?  I want to behave as I am able, with the knowledge that I have at the time, and not judge myself or others.  I want to always seek to evolve into more awareness and more enlightenment so that what I destroy is not more than I create.  I want what I create to not overwhelm what exists and cause the extinction of seeds that will ensure the survival of what will be.

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Living From Within

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During one very dark point in my life, I spent about six to eight weeks in self-imposed isolation.

My mom had passed the year before.  I had no income.  Nevertheless, I was making the best of my circumstances.  I was exercising, practicing yoga, and eating healthfully.  I felt that I was one with God and growing in Spirit every day.  Then, my life changed instantly.  I lost my work-trade job (working for classes) at a yoga studio, broke my foot, and became immobile.  My health as I appreciated it was taken away.  I went into a downward tailspin.

Looking back, it seems incredible, but I just lost it.  It was too much.  I decided to give up.  I didn’t want to live anymore.  When my half-hearted attempt to end my life was unsuccessful, I began my in-house retreat.  It was clear that I had lost my connection – again.  Every time I think “I’ve got it!” something happens to show me that my belief is not unshakeable.  It’s like geometry.  I learn to solve one problem, but don’t understand the principle enough to withstand subsequent challenges. Thus, losing all of my transient rocks (mom, income, yoga, mobility) forced me to reconnect with that which is Unchangeable.

As I fell deeper into an abyss, I became desperate not to plunge further and focused intently on climbing out.  I read, meditated, listened to inspirational music and sermons.  Many times I simply sat in silence.  One of the books I read was Living in the Light by Shakti Gawain, which had been on my bookshelf for years.  I tried to read it, but could never get into it.  During the exile from myself, I read it repeatedly because it was what I needed to hear at that time.

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Keep Your Mind on Spirit

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Everyone suffers.  It’s easy to think that there are those who don’t.  In Light Upon Light: Inspirations from RUMI, interpreted by Andrew Harvey, a story is told of a king who was granted 400 years of luxury and happiness.  As time passed, the king forgot about and denied his Grantor, and was ultimately cursed.  Rumi considered the painless life a veil between God and human beings.  This glory is in fact a punishment because such abundance causes blindness.  People forget about God until they go bankrupt, lose their health, face the death of war, or their pride causes their downfall.  At this point, one becomes reflective.  Exhausted from efforts to rise above the rubble, one at last turns within.

Similar stories are repeated throughout the Old Testament of the Bible.  God helps the people through a crisis and gives them food, land, and affluence.  Years pass and they grow accustomed to the good life and forget about God.  Each generation grows further and further away from the teachings.  They start worshiping other gods and stop studying the scriptures and honoring their ancestors.  They become self-absorbed.  God becomes angry and takes away His Grace.  The people endure decades of war, famine, subjugation, during which they remember God, cry out, and the cycle starts again.  God has mercy, restores their fortunes, they forget, and hard times return.  I think these stories are descriptions of human life throughout the millennia.  They are meant to guide and teach us.

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