I watched an episode of Grey’s Anatomy that was particularly moving to me. People died. There was a lot of unfairness. A little boy got shot by police while climbing into a window of his own home. It looked as though he was going to be ok, but he succumbed to his injuries. A woman suddenly died after giving birth. A young man tried to cut off his hand because his literal translation of the Bible compelled him to do so.
April, a deeply religious doctor, witnessed or was involved in these events. Overwhelmed, she started to mentally relive the tragedies of her own life. The husband of the woman who died was a man who April left at the altar, running away in her wedding dress with Jackson, another doctor. Their marriage disintegrated after she had a miscarriage and, thereafter, became severely depressed.
By the end of the episode, April was emotionally drained and asked, “Where is God in all of this?” She thought of the story of Job and Jesus on the cross saying, “Why has thou forsaken me?”
I started crying because this scene brought back traumatic experiences in my own life. I used to repeatedly read the Book of Job trying to find some understanding of my perceived suffering. At this point in my life, however, I realize that God expresses itself through us and that we do not always well express God. This Spirit that is perfect comes through the prism that is us. We cannot see our perfection because the pain of the flesh overrides our awareness of our true Essence.
God exists in and through us. Until we can fully express the Reality of God, we continue to manifest God imperfectly, diluted, and distorted by our own perceptions, by our own sickness, and by our own weakness.
We have drifted far away from our authentic selves. I know what I’m supposed to do; but, somehow, I get caught up in the world, in the material. The flesh takes over. I read about the Infinite Way. I say I understand it. I know it. I want it. Yet, against my will it seems, I continue to express anger, fear, resentment, and judgment. I repeatedly fail to demonstrate an assurance of abundance, love, and protection.
God is not a puppeteer. We have been taught a false sense of God. Jesus’ teachings were usurped by the early church and political system that formed after his life ended. The church and its priests became the parent, the entity that convinced us to worship a man and not the God within. We relinquished our self-control and gave it to the father. All we needed to do to resolve our madness was to pay our tithes, go to confession, and have someone pray over our sins. We could then be absolved of all of our bad deeds until the next week.
We have created a world that is polluted, that is increasingly dependent upon synthetic nutrients, that designates money as the determinant of who has a right to health, housing, education, and safety, and in which values are taught through the media in its infinite forms. Is it any wonder that we are physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually sick and dying?
We have access to ancient and contemporary wisdom teachings from throughout the world that state that we are more than our bodies. We have the ability to affect the external world. So when we want to know where God is, we have to take responsibility because God expresses itself as us. When things are not going as we want, we have to look in the mirror. This is the person who can effect and inspire change.
Mountains, rivers, oceans, forests, and celestial bodies magnificently express the majesty of God. We are different from these creations because we have free will. We have minds and independent thought. We can manifest according to our intent. Unfortunately, we often tend to create from our most base levels.
When we create a baby, we don’t create ourselves. We create a baby through us. He or she has all of our genes and characteristics. Yet that baby grows and evolves in its own way. We try to guide the baby; but, often, the baby doesn’t want to go the way that we advise. Baby wants to go her own way. Ancient wisdom texts tell stories of how people received instructions to do “this” and decided instead to do “that”.
These stories, no matter their origins, advise the same, albeit with different legends, terms, and appellations: realize the truth of our being, become aware of Spirit and Universal Law, become conscious of that wonderful loving Flow (of many names) in which we exist, but often struggle against.
It is up to us to rightfully express God. We have to look at ourselves and ask, “Are we peace, calm, loving, forgiving, helpful, cooperative, honest, joyful?” When we look in the mirror that reflects our lives, are we happy with what we see?
If not, we need to take responsibility. What can we change?