Love in the Midst

love in pain chocob3rry

Always rely on mental happiness alone.

Whenever others falsely criticize you even though you have not done anything; whenever you experience physical and mental illness and pain; in short, whenever any undesired suffering occurs, delight in it and think, “I can bring [this experience] into the path of mind training without allowing my [practice] to deteriorate.  In this way, make your mind stable.            Gomo Tulku, Becoming a Child of the Buddhas  pp. 52-53

I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved in return; of giving, even when I have nothing; of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties;of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and abandoned; of drying my tears, even while I weep; of believing, even when no one believes in me.        Aleph by Paulo Coelho

The key is to be in a state of permanent connectedness with your inner body – to feel it at all times. This will rapidly deepen and transform your life. The more consciousness you direct into the inner body, the higher its vibrational frequency becomes.     Eckhart Tolle

Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.  Eckhart Tolle

When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.  African Proverb

Turning Arrows Into Flowers

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I was thinking about the past – unpleasant situations, ways in which I could have done this or that differently, people who treated me unfairly.  I caught myself and decided to let those pictures go.  That was then and this is now. I am conditioning myself to reclassify those past events as “strengthening exercises.”

I can be and do anything.  When people are cruel to me, I can use that as a training tool to teach myself not to react with equal malice.  This has been reiterated to me in various formats for years.  Finally, it seems to be seeping into my behavior.  Chapter six of the book “Becoming a Child of the Buddhas” by Gomo Tulku has eighteen very insightful commitments to mind training.  Number eleven states: “Even though others may say negative words that seem to almost split your heart, strive to not say a single word of harm in response.”

There is an essay by Sister Jina in A Joyful Path: Community Transformation and Peace by Thich Nhat Hanh in which she tells the story of the Buddha being shot with poisonous arrows.  Because he had an insight body, he was able to turn those arrows into flowers.  This has been such an incredible visualization for me.  How is that possible?  Sister Jina sat in meditation and tried to imagine having such consciousness.  She saw that the arrows did not enter her body, but they fell bent and misshapen around her.

With deeper thought, Sister Jina saw that the Buddha’s insight body recognized the true nature of the arrows.  Because he immediately transformed them into their Reality, the arrows did not exist.  Only flowers surrounded him.  Can you imagine if each of us was able to transform our environment in this way?  Sometimes I get emotional thinking about the power of this practice.

Arrows still enter my body and I’m quite sure I’m directing arrows at people and situations.  But, at least I am aware of my thoughts.  I’m honest about where I am in this moment and changes that are needed, desired, and possible.  I believe that I am less reactive, more positive, more friendly.  I’m learning to be at peace, happy, and grateful for whatever the day brings.

I do still have pity pot days and times when I’m far from the ideal to which I aspire. Nevertheless, I am beginning to feel the happiness within me that cannot be disturbed by the external. This is translating into a more pleasurable and productive environment.

I am committed to responding to perceived hurt with an awareness of the eternal joy within me, as well as the flowering essence of the person causing the pain.  Perhaps the family dysfunction; historical oppression; violence, stress, and strife in our living environments have caused such deep unhappiness that we cannot see our true selves.  How then can we perceive the Truth of others?

I want to be around healthy, productive, loving, and evolving people.  First, I must be that which I seek.  I must transform myself.  I want to turn poisonous arrows into flowers.  To develop this capacity, I must be more open to the mirrors that others present to me.  This helps me to see their true nature because, increasingly, I can see my own.

Be the Light

honor God rudecactus

Watch your thoughts; they become words.

Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

            Frank Outlaw, Late President of the Bi-Lo Stores

When we remember to speak words which are true, kind, and constructive, we nourish a beautiful flower in our hearts, and we can offer its sweet fragrance to everyone.  Thich Nhat Hahn

Open yourself up to the light.  This is different from fighting the darkness.  Deepak Chopra

 My peace is the peace of the world.  Deepak Chopra

Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world.  Desmond Tutu

Honoring God

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Many years ago, I started doing prostrations after reading A Joyful Path by Thich Nhat Hanh.  He described these as a Buddhist practice to help us stay connected to our blood and spiritual roots.  I used to prostrate six times: to my blood ancestors, to my spiritual ancestors, to those I love, to those who have made me suffer, to Mother Earth, and to God.  Over time, I shortened the six to two: to my combined blood and spiritual ancestors and to God.  I changed “bow” to “honor” because I felt this term had more relevance to me, although I understand the great significance bowing has in Asian cultures.

Recently, I’ve begun to ask, “what am I actually doing to demonstrate honor throughout my day?”  Statements are so easy to make.  After awhile, I don’t even hear myself.  Often, I’m thinking of other things as I touch my forehead to the floor and state: “I honor my blood and spiritual ancestors.  I honor God.”

So one morning after I meditated, I wrote down what it means to me to honor God, to honor myself as an expression of God, and to honor my ancestors who have lived through so much and enable me to be here with such fortune in this time and place.  I am so very thankful for their guidance and assistance.  I came up with a long list: respect, forgiveness, compassion, gratitude, minimizing complaints, watching what I put into my temple, how I care for my temple, being mindful of what comes out of my mouth (speech), and what goes into my mind.

Am I contributing to or diminishing peace?  In the midst of stress, am I matching it, giving back what is being expressed in my presence?  Am I creating harmony or disharmony?  Can I be at peace in the midst of chaos?  Am I a light in the darkness or am I darkness in someone’s light?

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Love Yourself

I love me natasha deviantart

The most important relationship in life is the one you have with yourself.  And if you have that, any other relationship is a plus and not a must.  Diane von Furstenberg

Saying no can be the ultimate self-care.  Claudia Black

You yourselves are your last hope.  Possessing The Secret of Joy by Alice Walker

Somewhere within us there does exist a supreme self who is eternally at peace.  Elizabeth Gilbert

My family asked me why I was wasting a college degree and why I spent my 401k to move to an island. I didn’t have a straight answer for them, but I did know that I worked harder than I ever had for six years of my life, for almost twelve hours each day and put up with a lack of appreciation for what I did.  So it was okay if I took some time to do nothing. You don’t have to be achieving scientific discovery every day. It’s okay to take time to simply be and to experience life.   From a post in Tiny Buddha

Self-Cherishing

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One of the lessons in Charles Fillmore’s book “Keep a True Lent” states: “I . . . use a portion of my zeal in establishing God’s kingdom within me.  I do not put all my enthusiasm into helping others; my own unfoldment is of great importance to me.  I love to aid my brother, but I do not allow that idea to rob me of the power to demonstrate Truth for myself.”

According to my 2004 journal, I used to be The Helper.  Even while taking care of my  mother who had Alzheimer’s, I was The Fixer at work, a mentor to young cousins, a mediator for warring couples, the person to whom others brought their vents, dramas, and traumas.  I ran errands for a friend whose husband had a massive heart attack.  My own life was full of stress and unhappiness.

A friend asked, “Why do you get so involved in other people’s lives?”  Especially at work, she thought I consistently tried to solve deficiencies that were not my responsibility.  Why didn’t I put my energies towards resolving my own issues and becoming what I want to be instead of focusing on external conditions?

I began to look at family and societal patterns.  Most of the women I knew growing up were self-sacrificial.  My role models helped others to the point of sacrifice.  It’s what a woman did.  It was the right thing to do.  I didn’t see women treating themselves to personal joys.  The female was expected to care for someone other than herself.  Happiness was dependent upon bringing joy to husbands, children, other family members, and the church. The focus was always on the external.  It was selfish to do for self.  Joy and satisfaction came from doing for others.  This was an obligation.  My childhood prayer was “God loves the cheerful giver.”

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Choose Joy

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Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.  Henri Nouwen

The same walls we have put up to protect ourselves are the same ones that keep us from awareness of our abundance and joy.  Robin Hart

The less you respond to rude, critical, argumentative people, the more peaceful your life will become.  Mandy Hale

Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. C.S. Lewis

You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.  Yogi Bhajan

We are like the little branch that quivers during a storm, doubting our strength and forgetting we are the tree – deeply rooted to withstand all life’s upheavals.  Dodinsky

What is Joy Worth?

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I am coming into a fuller understanding of being joy.  It’s like losing weight.  I have to decide that the unhealthy food I want to eat is not worth my health, my appearance, and my self-confidence.  Likewise, I have to decide that external circumstances are not worth the loss of my joy.  I truly enjoy feeling content, happy, and at peace; therefore, I want to get into the habit of choosing joy, happiness, and fulfillment.

I now ask myself about people and circumstances – is this worth my joy?  With regard to food, a friend of mine said she asked herself, “Is this worth gaining weight?” each time she chose not to eat something fattening.  She said that, with time and continuous practice, she didn’t even have to think about choosing.  She just didn’t eat certain items.  That’s where I want to be with my joy.

I think about the effects of oppression and discrimination and other forms of unfair treatment.  As a result of my personal experience, I became suspicious of statements and behavior.  My negative interpretations became protective devices.  Once one has been hurt many times, one tries to anticipate situations of pain based upon past hurtful behavior.  This then becomes cyclical.  If you anticipate pain, you usually incur it, if only because you tense up and don’t speak freely or positively.  Therefore, you potentially invite the hurt that you were trying not to incur.

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Wake Up To Who You Are

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Slow down and everything that you are chasing will come around and catch you.  John de Paula

When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.  Miguel Ruiz

To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.  Pema Chodron

Waking up to who you are requires letting go of who you imagine yourself to be.  Alan Watts

We shouldn’t let another define our sense of self and worth, for this places us into the role of the lesser or the victim.  When we play that role, then obviously we will attract or sustain relationships that will mutually fulfill that role.  Patsie Smith

Thou Shall Not Covet

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In February 2015, I created Ancient Seeker.  I felt such a sense of accomplishment.  It was something that I had wanted to do for years.  I enjoy writing and re-reading my posts and inserting inspirational items on my GospelLinks and PathLinks pages.  Ancient Seeker represents me – not the worker bee me or the parts of me that I present to different people depending upon their relationship to me.  Ancient Seeker exposes the vulnerable me, the flawed me, the hopeful me, and my journey towards becoming an evolved self.

I was very happy until . . .

I read about a woman who started her own church, has written books, and is a nationally-known inspirational speaker.  I knew this woman.  We took classes together.  I remembered when she started giving seminars to small groups of people.  Now look at her!  Immediately, I began to judge myself.  “What is wrong with you?  What are you doing?  Look at what she has done with her life!  The two of you started out together.  Now she’s well-known and successful and you’re nothing!”

OMG!  It takes so little to send me down the rabbit hole.  I had to step back and get into observer mode.

I recalled the Biblical commandment not to covet.  In addition to wanting what another has, coveting is a form of self-judgment.  It means that what I have is not enough.  I am inadequate.  It is an affirmation of lack and limitation.  It is also a failure to recognize the infinity of our interconnectedness and interrelationship.  A part of me, expressed as her, has manifested a desire.  At this moment in time, that energy is flowing through her; but, it is the same energy that flows through me and creates according to my abilities, awareness, and consciousness.

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