Many years ago, I started doing prostrations after reading A Joyful Path by Thich Nhat Hanh. He described these as a Buddhist practice to help us stay connected to our blood and spiritual roots. I used to prostrate six times: to my blood ancestors, to my spiritual ancestors, to those I love, to those who have made me suffer, to Mother Earth, and to God. Over time, I shortened the six to two: to my combined blood and spiritual ancestors and to God. I changed “bow” to “honor” because I felt this term had more relevance to me, although I understand the great significance bowing has in Asian cultures.
Recently, I’ve begun to ask, “what am I actually doing to demonstrate honor throughout my day?” Statements are so easy to make. After awhile, I don’t even hear myself. Often, I’m thinking of other things as I touch my forehead to the floor and state: “I honor my blood and spiritual ancestors. I honor God.”
So one morning after I meditated, I wrote down what it means to me to honor God, to honor myself as an expression of God, and to honor my ancestors who have lived through so much and enable me to be here with such fortune in this time and place. I am so very thankful for their guidance and assistance. I came up with a long list: respect, forgiveness, compassion, gratitude, minimizing complaints, watching what I put into my temple, how I care for my temple, being mindful of what comes out of my mouth (speech), and what goes into my mind.
Am I contributing to or diminishing peace? In the midst of stress, am I matching it, giving back what is being expressed in my presence? Am I creating harmony or disharmony? Can I be at peace in the midst of chaos? Am I a light in the darkness or am I darkness in someone’s light?
The other day, I was riding my bicycle, deep in thought. This little girl stood next to the bike path, waited until I got right next to her, and threw dirt at me. Out of my mouth came “Bitch!” I couldn’t believe it!! I immediately chastised and berated myself for the next few days until I realized that was just Spirit showing me that my mirror still has smudges. I am still a work in progress, still in the process of refinement. If you can’t see or feel the dirt, you can’t wash it clean.
In one of his sermons, Joel Osteen asked, “What is on the throne of your temple?” Whatever it is, that’s what you’re worshipping. I interpreted the throne to be whatever is guiding my thoughts and determining my courses of action. Money used to be on my throne. Believing that I could not exist without a paycheck, I went against my true nature for years. Resentment, bitterness, and judgment were on my throne. Since I had been so often wronged, used, and abused, I felt I was justified in worshipping these idols.
But now that I know better, I want to do and be better. I want to develop within myself a foundation of honoring. I want to honor God by becoming aware of my personal connection to others. Whatever I am doing or saying, I want to come from a place of honor, a foundation of peace and love.
Before I speak or act, I want to be mindful. Does this expression emanate from anger, resentment, bitterness, turmoil, worry, fear? Am I responding to perceived offenses based upon past experiences? Is my speech or behavior automatic? Do I even think before I speak or are certain reactions so habitual that I don’t even know what I’m going to do or say before they leap from me? What is on the throne can change quickly. As Patanjali counsels, I need to be “eternally watchful, scrutinizing every thought, every word, and every action.”
I honor God by living as an expression of Joy, Peace, Love, Compassion, and Forgiveness. In the midst of ashes, I stand. If I stumble, I rise again and again because I am eternal. I was begat by blood ancestors who survived the indescribable. They love and protect me. I honor them by evolving and excelling. I will not give up. My spiritual ancestors have been with me throughout eons, guiding and lifting me, healing and strengthening me, renewing the Essence that is my True Self. I honor them by continuing to increase my awareness of Spirit so that I may reveal and manifest the design and majesty of God.
This is my quest.