I unexpectedly obtained a job for which I had applied almost one year earlier. It had taken so long to manifest that I accepted what I called my bridge job, something to hold me over until I could figure out my next step. While on the bridge job, I realized that I was repeating my old pattern: doing whatever in order to make money. My heart said to me, “I am tired of doing this. I deeply want [a list of intangibles].”
Almost instantly, the long-delayed job came through. I immediately left my bridge job and began the new one the next day. I felt as though this was fate, God sent, and what I was meant to do.
The new job did not match my expectations at all.
Unbeknownst to me, my supervisors looked at my skill set and decided that I could perform duties that were needed, but not funded under the advertised position. My role was based upon a need that had nothing to do with what I thought the job entailed. My supervisors saw something in me that I didn’t even see in myself and thought that I would be perfect for the undefined placement.
My new job was filled with a lot of uncertainty. It presented entirely new situations with entirely new types of people.
On the outside looking in, I thought, “I can do this.” Once I got into my new position, the uncertainty made me doubt myself. My role was not well defined. Each day I didn’t know what to expect. Throughout each day, I could be at one place performing certain tasks and I would suddenly be called to go to another location and do something entirely different.
Most of the time, I tried to live up to this unknown thing about me that other people saw. I tried to live up to their vision. On the other hand, I was very uncomfortable because my previous positions have been fairly predictable. I like that. In my new position, I often had no clue of what to do. There was no training. I dealt with each situation as it came up. Each day I learned something fresh. I acted on instinct. I made mistakes. I don’t like making mistakes.
Even in positions that I didn’t particularly like, I always had certainty. I knew what was expected of me. If I hadn’t done it before, I had done something like it and could figure out what was needed and get it done. In this job, I was in a whole new world.
