In June 2012, I wrote a list of intentions. Two of them are: “I communicate love, reason, and freedom” and “I express myself so that everyone can feel the One Love that exists in each and all of us throughout the Universe.”
I can’t say that I have consistently implemented these intentions. To be honest, when I wrote them, I expected them to happen to me as a result of my stating them. At first, I would state them aloud every day, then once a week, now once a month. Only within the last few months have I thought about really putting them into daily practice. The realization that I have to do and be something has taken quite a long time to develop.
I have always had an intellectual understanding of right behavior, but implementation has been lacking. It is much easier to “speak my word,” judge the actions and speech of other people, and bemoan the sorry state of my life and the world than to actually change my conduct. Nevertheless, I continue to read and listen, meditate and affirm. Finally – bit by bit – I am beginning to rephrase my negative expressions and reactions that occur so habitually that I have not yet been able to prevent them. Awareness is a huge first step.
I now acknowledge that I need to breathe, engage right thinking, and express corrected behavior. Many times, the best that I can do is walk away from the person and situation. I manage on most occasions to say “ok” and “thank you” with a forced half smile before my departure. Change is a process.
Last week, I thought about the words and phrases “Namaste,” “Amen,” and “God Bless You.” We say them frequently without thought, as though we are saying “hi” and “bye.” Namaste has layered meanings, but can be defined as “the divine in me recognizes the divine in you.” It can literally be translated as “I bow to you.” Amen expresses agreement to what has been stated. Its roots stem from “to be firm,” “to tell the truth,” “to believe,” and “to have faith.” What would happen if, every time we said “amen” we thought truth, faith, and belief in the most positive potential of an annoying person or situation?
Some people say “God Bless You” in a hateful manner, as in “I would rather curse you, but I know that’s not right, so I will say God bless you.” They then exhibit angry and resentful behavior, as words of blessing stream from their mouths. It is easy to say, “God wouldn’t act that way, so I know that is not God. That is the Devil.” That dualistic thinking is problematic. It sets us up as Judge and who are we, really, to judge another? If that is our belief, we have to first look at the God and Devil in ourselves, and how we are promoting the existence and magnification of either.
I prefer to focus on the divine. Since I often use Namaste, I have begun to practice truly feeling the God in me and making myself recognize the God in others, even if I have to remove myself and reflect later. This practice is so profound. Thich Nhat Hanh discusses six prostrations in his book A Joyful Path: Community Transformation and Peace. The fifth is “I bow down to reconcile with all who have made me suffer.”
When I first began this prostration, I would cry. It was painful. It was unfair. It didn’t seem right. But I made myself do it. In time, I could bow without crying. Now, I am moved to tears because of the profundity of the act. I still have to work through my anger, my irritation, and my feelings of unfairness and unhappiness. But when I am able to breathe and think “God,” and breathe and bow, I am able to re-characterize the drama and trauma.
I also keep in mind that the Universe responds instantly and constantly by taking on form and substance according to my every utterance, word or deed. I may feel warranted in my reaction, but is my expression worth its manifestation in some form? I am a creator. I have dominion. I have free will. Is it possible that the intense negativity in the world results from all of the evil thoughts that we emit throughout each and every day, no matter how defensible?
If we believed our power to be that great, would we control our thoughts?