Lack, Limitation, Judgment

Embedded Memories Flickr

Baggage of lack and limitation
Sacrifice, giving, giving, giving
And not receiving
Suffering
Being the bridge that is supposed to insure my entry into the Promised Land

 

Judgment
Above all else – judgment
Determining what is good and what is bad
What is right and what is wrong
What is white and what is black

 

No, you cannot come with me
All of you must stay behind
The new horizon invites me
One Mind
One Power
One Universal Source
Lavish, unfailing abundance
Infinite prosperity
Unconditional love
Wisdom to see beyond appearances
Understanding and compassion
Peace
Happiness
Joy
Not Heaven
Here on Earth
Right here
Right now

 

Being in the world, but not of it
Feeling the pain, but not becoming painful
Separating the expression from the existence
Awareness
Knowledge
The ability to see what is readily apparent
If I will only be open and receptive

 

Recognizing the reality that is me
Unfettered, uninhibited, unconditional
Free

Ancestral Memories and Agreements

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Is there a memory of failure within you that causes you to believe that, no matter how much you achieve, something will happen to bring you down?  Despite all that you have, do you still need more to satisfy your craving for security?

Each of us chose our particular human embodiment to learn certain lessons in this lifetime.  We hold within and have available to us the experiences of those who came before us.  Past, present, and future are very linear concepts that, given the right environment and conditions, can be experienced and understood in the present moment.

Our minds, on some level, contain all of the memories of all that ever was.  These thoughts may be influencing us in ways in which we are unaware.  They may be preventing us from acknowledging our havingness.

Many of the obstacles blocking an awareness of our havingness are in our subconscious.  One example of a psychic obstacle is an ancestral memory or agreement made prior to birth or conception and usually forgotten.  A pre-birth agreement is the decision by a group of energetic beings to be physically born as family or friends, for example, to assist each other during a lifetime and to grow as a group.  A ready-made spiritual support system was thereby established.  Unfortunately, members of the group may subsequently grow at different rates or move along different paths.

This pre-embodiment energetic agreement can cause some group members to sacrifice their own potential progressions in life and adhere to the level of advancement of the group.  Those members can’t seem to pull away from a family’s destructive or non-productive environment.  Developing a physical distance may not be possible or desirable.  A solution may be to identify and break free of the ancestral agreement.

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Manifest Your Intention

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Live life as if everything is rigged in your favor.  Rumi

Such a simple concept, yet so true: that which we manifest is before us; we are the creators of our own destiny.  Be it through intention or ignorance, our successes and our failures have been brought on by none other than ourselves.  Garth Stein, The Art of Racing in the Rain

[T]he basic stuff of the universe, at its core, is a kind of pure energy that is malleable to human intention and expectation in a way that defies our old mechanistic model of the universe – as though our expectation itself causes our energy to flow out into the world and affect other energy systems.   James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

It takes a deep commitment to change and an even deeper commitment to grow.  Ralph Ellison

When you choose to stay focused on what you desire, instead of what you don’t have, you realign your energy and cause external circumstances to shift.  Connecting with and choosing to remain in your state of inner peace, regardless of what is happening, is a dynamic affirmation that the external world is shaped by the internal one.  Lynne Herod- DeVerges, Center of Light Miracles

How Are You Expressing Your Intent?

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In 1998, I wrote that “a means to making money in a way that is fulfilling, nurturing, and healing is on its way to me right now.”  In 2015, I read this affirmation and wondered why I had not yet manifested it.  Today, I see very clearly what happened.  I stated a desire, yet pursued its exact opposite.

I had definite ideas about what I wanted to do and ways in which I wanted to develop.  I didn’t follow through because my focus was on making money, not on the means by which I made it. I believed that once I obtained an undefined “enough,” other things would simply fall into place.  Later, I entered into survival mode.  I had needs that I thought couldn’t be met without my salary.  Because I never took steps to implement my dreams, other people’s desires and needs filled that void.  Over the years, I worked overtime handling OPB (other people’s business) at work and in my personal life.

Regardless of what we say we want, our intentions are shown by our actions.  If I say I intend to lose 5 pounds this month, but continue to eat as I’ve always eaten, then my actual intent is to maintain or gain weight.  The doing guides the creative force.

Dreams take a long time to manifest because we don’t change.  We keep doing the same things.  We want different outcomes even as we refuse to do or think differently.  We say that we don’t want to experience [this] anymore.  Nevertheless, we continue to do what we’ve always done, for whatever reason – love, money, fear, wanting to please, perception of an unpleasant outcome, misplaced commitment.

Consider the following:

  • Do you even have an intention?

We all want a lot of things.  We have dislikes or desires: I don’t like this job.  I don’t like living in this neighborhood.  I don’t like people who do this.  I want a better car, a different house.  I want money.  What do we actually intend?  An intent is phrased differently: I intend to pay off my debts.  I intend to have a different job next year.  I intend to get my degree.

If you intend to do something, you can begin to think of certain steps towards its implementation.  An intent makes you focus.  That’s how you can separate a wish from an intent.

Ideas and wishes do not necessarily equal intentions.  Wishes need to be narrowly and clearly defined in order to be considered intentions.  Otherwise, they are simply thoughts being dispersed into the air.

  • Are you cancelling out your intentions?

Are your thoughts 25% peace, but your actions 75% conflict?  Each thought, each spoken word, and each action expresses and sends out energy that causes a reaction.  Are your expressions consistent with your intentions?  Does one cancel out the other?  Are you unhappy with your returns?  Look at your investments.  How are you spending most of your time?  The Universe doesn’t judge or interpret.  It receives and responds.  Is your behavior impeding or supporting your intention?

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Being Alone is OK

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The physical aspect of being human gravitates towards being pack animals.  We take comfort in being part of group – family, team, community.  Being alone is not valued.  When we lose our feeling of not belonging, we can become depressed.  It’s not the norm.  But the spiritual side of ourselves, the essence that is ever evolving towards its Source, can cause us to become separated from those who are following different roads to the same destination.

Sometimes we have to be on our road alone for awhile until we meet like travelers.  This can be lonely and disconcerting.  We don’t want to leave our loved ones or them to leave us.  We don’t want to part from what has been comforting for years, what has been safe.  We don’t want to be isolated.

But if we are to grow, if we want to evolve, this is what is necessary.  We have to know that this is a period of transition that will soon pass into a new level of being if we can have the courage to persevere.  You may feel as though you’re all alone, but open your heart.  Listen with your inner ears.  See with your unfiltered eyes.  Understand with your eternal mind.  That which is within you will eventually manifest into material form.  Robin Hart

Growing Through Loss

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Three years ago, I lost my mom.  She lived a long life, but I didn’t have all of her for fourteen years prior to her passing because of Alzheimer’s Disease.  Before that, I lost my sister, my dog, and my dad.  I actually lost my sister many years before she died because she was on drugs and was administered shock treatments in the state mental hospital, which was where they put and how they treated drug users back in the day.  Afterwards, she lost her mind and my sister, the first person that I knew really, truly loved me, became and died as one of the crazy-looking people on the street you try to avoid.  Before that, I lost my aunt and uncle who were like my grandparents.  My real grandfathers died before I was born and my grandmothers passed before I was 12.

When I was in high school, a friend was shot and killed.  Throughout the years, I’ve been through many funerals of neighbors, relatives, associates, and siblings and parents of friends.  My elementary school music teacher passed two weeks ago.  Beyond death and tragedy, people who I thought would always be in my life chose to end our relationship.  I’ve lost jobs, a car, homes that I loved, income, status, my youthful idealism.  At times, I’ve lost myself.

One of my closest friends has had life-threatening health issues for some time.  We have been through so much together, some really crazy, fun times and the painful growth periods that most people go through.  She knows the inside of me, how and why I think.  She’s my sister from another mother.  It’s been very challenging trying to deal with what’s going on with her, especially since we live in different states.  The very selfish thought of potential loss to me is unbearable.  If I allow myself to think of it, I lose my ability to breathe and have to immediately distract myself.

If she is no longer physically in my life, what will I have?  Who will know me like she knows me?  We are supposed to sit on a balcony in our old age, overlooking an ocean, talking about all the stuff we did in our lives, all of the dramas we got through.  With whom will I share the stories that only we know?

But why even think this way? God only knows when her or my time will come.

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Awakening Consciousness

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It’s exhilarating to be alive in a time of awakening consciousness.  It can also be confusing, disorienting, and painful.  Adrienne Rich

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.  Audre Lorde

It is crucial that we develop real awareness of ourselves as citizens of Earth, linked by mutual and indissoluble bonds.  When we clearly recognize this reality and ground ourselves in it, we are compelled to take a strict accounting of our way of life.  Daisaku Ikeda

Perhaps the immobility of the things that surround us is forced upon them by our conviction that they are themselves and not anything else, and by the immobility of our conception of them.  The Jesus Incident by Frank Herbert and Bill Ransom

The cosmos is within us.  We are made of star-stuff.  We are a way for the universe to know itself.  Carl Sagan

The quality of your consciousness at this moment is what shapes the future.  Eckhart Tolle

Creating New Worlds From Within

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We are in the midst of a new era of creation that is revolutionizing ways of life throughout the globe.  The potential of this new era is infinite, fed by imagination and will.

This is an incredible time; but, as with most epic transitions, the changes are both productive and painful.  Many will enter the new era metaphorically handicapped and disabled because they are unable or unwilling to make necessary adjustments.  Many will stick to old patterns of thought and behavior and stand with the sinking ships of old world power.

To embrace the vastness of this evolutionary age, growth in awareness and consciousness is necessary.  It is essential to move beyond racism, sexism, poverty, world disasters, and see the bigger picture.  We have been operating from and reacting to the external for too long.  We have drifted far from our origins, from our Essence, from who and what we truly are.

Societal maladies are symptoms.  They are manifestations of a power within us that is not being utilized constructively.  Many react to this power’s harmful use instead of channeling the power with conscious awareness and loving focus. If we desire true and lasting change, we must stop responding, reacting, and becoming entangled within cycles of discordant thought and behavior.  Our minds and souls distinguish us from animals.  We are higher on the ladder of evolution and, thus, more capable of ascending to the potential that is our gift and destiny.  We can choose to live beyond fighting and killing as a basis for survival.

Many battle the injustices of the world, but don’t struggle against injustice within themselves, which is a source of disharmony among family, friends, neighbors and, ultimately, the world.  What we create on a micro (individual) level effects the macro (global) environment.  If my goal is universal evolution, I need to change myself right now.  I have to stop harboring resentment, anger, and fear.  I must stop being reactive.  Unless we stop the suffering and pain within ourselves, disharmony in the world will endlessly remain.

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You Are the Looking Glass

Looking Glass moly.hu

Life is not happening to you.  Life is responding to you.  Rhonda Byrne

Blame is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better.  Blame others.  Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself.  Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.  Pema Chödrön

When you complain, you make yourself a victim.  Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it.  All else is madness.  Eckhart Tolle

It is not in the stars that our destiny is held, but in ourselves.  William Shakespeare

I do believe that one way to have a destiny is to choose one.  Melinda McGraw

Without change, something sleeps inside us and seldom awakens.  The sleeper must awaken.  Frank Herbert

Awaken Into Actualization

train by emily autumn deviantart

I was on a BART train that had come through the bay tunnel, arriving in San Francisco from Oakland.  The train stopped. Signals indicated that it was out of order.  I jumped off with other people trying to catch a train that had just pulled up.  As we rushed onto the second train, a man ran off past us and out of the station.  I grabbed a seat, took a relieved breath, and suddenly noticed that the back of the train was twisted and dented like a stomach that had been hit hard and doubled in.  It was almost as if it had melted and been molded into this shape.

We all stood in shock wondering what had happened.  Then I thought of the man who dashed off of the train.  He knew. Suddenly, I was filled with dread.  Something was about to happen.  Right now.  A train was coming into the station too fast.  An explosion was about to occur.  Whatever had caused the first train to go out of order and this one to be mangled was about to happen again.  Then I woke up.

In my awakened state, I tried to figure out what had happened.  I chided myself for being too hasty.  I didn’t even look at the train until I was within it.  I was tunnel-visioned.  I had to get on that train.  I had to get a seat at any cost.  Had I taken my time, I could have observed the situation and noticed that something was wrong.  I was in shock when I saw the train’s horrible condition.  That shock made me immobile, victim to whatever was coming.

In hindsight, I see that I have conducted most of my life in this way.  I have made hasty decisions and acted upon them.  I wanted something or someone and I focused on getting it or him with no serious thought of the consequences.  I rarely had a plan beyond acquiring my desire.

Dreaming about a train may indicate a choice of a relatively safe, impersonal, or unthreatening path or course of action and the surrender of a certain amount of control to the collective.  That was me.  I went to law school and, after graduation, to a prestigious law firm because this was acceptable and encouraged by society, family, and mentors.  My mother stated that I finally had a real job, even though I had previously been self-sufficient for twelve years in a job that I loved.

Dreams involving accidents commonly occur during stressful times.  Such dreams may also reflect the making of others responsible for what happens in one’s life.  This was definitely a stressful time in my life.  I lost my job, but not my financial obligations.  At the time, I was also caring for my mother who had Alzheimer’s.  I placed my entire focus on obtaining and keeping another job, giving no thought to whether the environment was demeaning or depleting.

In jobs and in relationships, I experienced adversity, which I blamed on the external, the “other.”  I most certainly did not consider that I chose, I decided, or that I was not yet capable of seeing beyond my acquisitions.

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