I realize the efficacy of positive thinking. I believe that thoughts held in mind produce in kind. I also believe in not resisting feelings and emotions. I identify and acknowledge them and let them pass through. I am becoming less rigid in holding on to one way of being and thinking.
Granted, I’m not completely there yet. At times, I complain as I am concurrently grateful because a great benefit has occurred in my life in the midst of seemingly intractable limitations. I am so very thankful for the water even as I look around in despair at the immensity of the desert surrounding me.
As I look with wonder at all that passes through my life, I have an open and receptive heart, and greet the many colors and shapes of my life with immeasurable gratitude. Yet, I still become irritated, angry, overwhelmed, frustrated, impatient, tired, anxious, and fearful. Significantly, I no longer remain in these states for long. I identify them. I know exactly why I feel a certain way. I allow myself time to process. I give my emotions attention. Sometimes, I try to help them move along. Other times, I let them stay while I go on with my life. I acknowledge their presence and state aloud their identities if my feelings need that type of expression.
Sooner or later, my emotions move on to return later at a frequency dependent upon my life’s circumstances and maturation. I tend to cling to happiness, joy, and fun and attempt to block worry, anger, and resentment. If I’m happy, I want to stay this way. If I’m worried, I want what is causing my anxiety to go away. Both are forms of clinging, the latter in the sense that what you resist, persists. Attachment and rejection are sides of the same coin. Both are obstacles to flowing.
The water and the desert, the sun and the rain, the joy and the pain are all vital to life. Each has a purpose. The key for me is to receive what presents itself and act or not act according to my degree of motivation, information, analysis, and accepted guidance.
When I look back on my life, I see that I am still here. Still standing. Still breathing. I see that what I thought was unbearable was indeed very tolerable because I made it through. I made it to now. If I could have seen the future that is today, I wouldn’t have been so very depressed and stressed out of my mind. Perhaps I would have enjoyed more happy days, knowing what was to come.