I went to the law library to research various subjects and practice guides. In order to minimize my time in the library, I copied certain documents on a small flash drive. When I completed my tasks, I gathered up my belongings, removed the flash drive from the computer, and left. I was very busy for the next week and a half. At some point, I missed the drive, but figured that I had misplaced it and, like other items, it would eventually show up.
After two weeks, I began to panic. I looked everywhere – in my purses, my car, pockets, desk, floors, in between couch pillows. Waking up at 2 AM, I turned on my laptop, and discovered that I hadn’t downloaded any documents from the library. Thus, I presumed that I hadn’t removed the device from the library’s computer.
The next day, I called the library and was told that, when found, they throw the drives away. They don’t have space to store the many USB devices that people leave behind. I thought of all of the time I spent at the library, carefully selecting my desired documents. The librarian had to contact another staff member to access the database that contained what I needed. All that effort was worthless now. How could I have left the drive?
The day before I began to miss my flash drive, I had a dream in which I was swept into the ocean by huge waves. I knew that I could swim, but I was so far out, I began to feel hopeless. I wondered why I had this dream. I didn’t feel overwhelmed or lost. The next morning, during meditation, I felt tired. The loss of my flash drive was consuming my thoughts. I felt that, metaphorically, every time I get close to shore, a big wave comes and carries me far away. I use much effort to swim back only to find myself swept out again and again. In my meditative flashback of my dream, I decided not to swim back and to just drift out to sea. I had no more energy or inclination.