I Have Enough

eruption rainbow deviantart

I dreamed that I was in my car trying to park in the bus terminal in order to purchase a bus ticket.  A transit authority official told me to move my car.  I turned right onto the next street to look for another place to park.  There was a hotel, but no parking whatsoever on either side of the street.  Then my car disappeared and I was trying to park my bicycle, but I didn’t have a lock.  A woman from the hotel came up and told me that it was ok for me to park my bike across the street in a partially enclosed bus stop with a bike rack.  So I put my bike there.  It was about a block downhill back to the terminal.

I finally got to the ticket machine.  From there I could see my bike.  I kept trying to put a $5 bill into the dollar slot.  It kept being rejected.  The $5 bill returned faded.  I looked up and my bike was gone.  I woke up stressed.  My immediate thought upon awakening was, “You always make everything so difficult” or “You always do things the hard way.”  Something like that.

I sat in meditation thinking about my dream.  My interpretation was that I had a car, yet I was unsuccessfully trying to buy a bus ticket.  Then the car disappeared and was replaced by a functional bicycle.  I put the bike aside, didn’t secure it, and continued an attempt to force money into an unaccommodating receptacle.  Finally, I had nothing – no car, no bike, no bus, and money that didn’t work.  The question was why, when I had sufficient transportation, was I trying to secure less than what I had?  That search itself expressed a denial of what already existed.  Accordingly, it all went away.

The dream was trying to tell me that I already had what I was seeking.  By denying my sufficiency, I was affirming lack in my life.  Denial is wanting more without acknowledging and giving thanks for what is.

Not knowing who we are and what we have causes us to constantly focus on other than.  Causes us to look for a bus while a car is taking us where we want to go.  Causes us to not value and secure what we have while we persistently covet something more and different.

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