Last year, on Day 13 of Oprah/Deepak’s meditation series, the following question was asked: “How would you feel if you were at peace with the timing of change, knowing it was unfolding at the pace which best serves your highest needs?”  Day 13 was about knowing that the fulfillment of desires happens at the right place and time.

I felt that my right time needed to be right then; but, I tried to stick with the plan.  During my own silent meditation, I focused on the mantra, “I am at peace with God’s plan for me.”  I tried to clear my mind of desperation and fill it with trust and faith.  The next morning, I awoke thinking of the phrase, “Por tu te puesto.”  I had no idea what this meant.  I spent an hour or so searching for the meaning by inserting the phrase into the Internet.

There is no such phrase.  The Internet produced “por tu te he puesto.”  This worked phonetically.  When spoken, “te he” could sound like “te.”  According to Google, this phrase translates to “for I have made you.”  I didn’t comprehend why I woke up thinking of such a phrase.  I decided to make it a mantra in my morning meditation.

Thoughts came that I am to be happy.  God made me.  I am a manifestation of the most high God.  It is my birthright to have my desires fulfilled.

I gave the phrase to my friend who is a Spanish interpreter and translator.  Without knowing the context (and I surely could not provide one), she suggested: “For you I have provided.”  I almost started crying.  In trying to get through my challenging times, I continuously remind myself not to worry, that God is providing.  I just need to have patience.  I don’t know why this phrase came to me in Spanish, but it was the assurance that I needed to hear.

I have had hopes for so long.  In addition to so-called practical actions, I’ve been believing and feeling and affirming and praying and meditating.  In some ways, it feels as though my situation has worsened.  Every time I feel like giving up, something odd like “por tu te he puesto” happens.  It’s like some little hook appears to keep me going.  I remember years ago, I went through a guided meditation during which we were to receive a gift and the name of the entity giving it.  I received a rose from Ananda.

At the time, I had never heard this name.  I went to a bookstore to buy the music that had been played during the meditation.  While browsing, I picked up and started reading these cute little books.  To my astonishment, I found that Ananda was the second patriarch of the Buddha.  Years later, I learned that Ananda means pure bliss.  I believe these “weird” incidents are ways that the Universe communicates with me.  I just have to develop the capacity to understand.

Another evening, I went to bed early because I was mentally dispirited.  Before I went to sleep, I asked Spirit to communicate clearly with me.  These abstract dreams were too much.  “Talk to me in A, B, C terms,” I requested.  I dreamed that a woman spoke to me about developing the capacity to create from dreams.  She was going to develop horns by physically reshaping her head.  I said, “like the devil,” but instantly corrected myself, since I try not to believe in duality.  I concentrated on listening to her without judgment.  She said that, once she had the horns, she would hang purple, fuscia, and blue colored circles on them.  She told me that, within two years, she would have the capacity to manifest whatever she dreamed about.

I woke up thinking, “This is not what I meant by clearly communicating with me.  What kind of weird dream was that?”  Reading the account a year later, however, I had a different reaction.  In a sense, I have three horns.  I am Aries, Taurus, and born in the Chinese year of the Ram.  Indigo, a color between purple and deep blue, reflects the energy of the sixth chakra, which allows me to see everything with innocence, freshness, and wisdom.  Purple is the color of royalty, justice, and truth.

Blue corresponds with the fifth throat chakra, which expresses communication, creativity, self-expression, and the search for truth.  Pink or fuscia is the color of resurrection and love.  The number three represents a generative force, creative power, and forward movement.  Horns are attributes of the Mother Goddess and represent the vital life force, fertility, and the increase and wane of life.

With my current knowledge and awareness, I feel that the woman in my dream was actually me.  She was clearly communicating, but the timing wasn’t right.  I wasn’t yet advanced enough to understand.  It wasn’t my time.  Therefore, I felt that she and her words were weird and foreign, like the phrase “por tu te he puesto.”

Now I realize that my dreams are responsive to my desire to know and are in line with my growth path.  I am being exposed to wisdom.  As I become more open and receptive, I am learning to use my creative power.  I am capable of manifesting all that I need and want because “for you I have provided.”