One morning during meditation, I was feeling bad about all of the pain in the world and asked “Why?” What did Native Americans do to deserve such annihilation? What did Africans do to become slaves and colonized? What was the cause of such pain and degradation of peace-loving, Spirit-loving people?
Of course, there are numerous hypotheses, the main one possibly being that the cause is human nature. From the very beginning, humans have killed one another for power, control, possessions, retribution, punishment, emotions, and survival. Nevertheless, as we presumably evolve away from our animalistic characteristics, can we become consciously aware of ways in which we contribute to nurturing the very base level of our existence?
It came to me that we create devastation in our world and contribute to it every day by our thoughts and behavior. Unchecked anger, hatred, bigotry, jealousy, resentment, worry, anxiety and other unproductive energies contribute to a force that feeds from and integrates with beings and systems with like vibrations.
In an episode of the Star Trek television series, the crew attempted to get rid of Jack the Ripper, who was thought to have died centuries earlier. They discovered that “he” was actually a universal force that received its energy from the negative thoughts of everyone on the Enterprise. The force would enter a body and make it perform harmful acts. When others reacted in fear, anxiety, and anger, the force became more powerful. Ultimately, the crew realized what was giving the force its strength. They began to focus on happy thoughts. Laughter drove the force away from the ship and into space. Unable to find an entity like itself to which it could attach, the force dissipated.
My meditation was interrupted by a handyman hired by my apartment complex. When I opened the door, the man spoke to me while looking at certain parts of my body. He never looked me in the eye. When I resumed my meditation, all I could think of was my anger towards this man. It took quite a while for me to return to my meditative state.
Calming myself, I saw that the same way I allowed myself to be taken away from my meditative peace was the way that I allow myself to become uncentered throughout each day and throughout my life. I start out on one path and, then, allow people and events to detract me, to spoil my day, to make me ungrateful, angry, resentful, or irritated. I realized how easily negative thoughts come to my mind and how, instead of passing them through, I nurture, revisit, and build upon them. I was able to see how I then attract certain energies to me, not necessarily the energies upon which I am focusing, but the type of energies in various forms. A small hole can be just enough to let in a flood.
Imagine a huge cloud floating, looking for entities like itself, no matter how small or insignificant. It feels a spark and drifts toward it. As this cloud hovers over the spark, the spark begins to draw energy from the cloud. The interaction is synergetic. Each feeds the other. Soon the spark becomes a fire. The growing fire evokes fear, blame, anger, sadness. As people struggle to put out the fire, the cloud becomes all-encompassing. No one notices because everyone’s attention is on the fire. The cloud is perceived as normal, a result of the fire.
Over time, however, lives become disrupted. People don’t even notice the cloud anymore. It has become a way of life, except that life is becoming more tense and chaotic. What happened? How could this have occurred? What changed?
When we study the histories of those who were conquered, subjugated, massacred, and otherwise affected by war and domination, we see that, prior to the conflict, there was inequality, division, greed, and disharmony of some kind. Someone was not satisfied with the status quo. Somebody wanted more. Some people felt denied, held back, unprivileged, outside the inner circle. Some had too much and didn’t share; didn’t even think of the suffering of others. Tribes sold other tribes for trinkets or privileges or land or guns.
Somewhere, somehow, there were little holes of division and dissension that allowed the ocean of slaughter to rush in. There is always a spark that allows the cloud of doom to enter.
We are all responsible. All of us. Even if we didn’t create the cloud – the force of disruptive energy – we help it grow. The force feeds upon people who want to get even, who can’t forgive, who hold onto resentment and drama and pain. It attaches onto people who have forgotten how to laugh and play, who fear to love fully, to trust and have faith.
We have the power to dissipate this force that is feeding on our negativity and infusing our life force with its damaging presence. We must become aware of our contribution to the growth of this power and choose to change.