When I visited Europe, I spent hours in the museums, something I rarely do here in the States.  I always remembered to look up because there was beautiful artwork in the ceilings.  I was surrounded by astounding architecture above and beneath me.

For years, I never looked up on a regular basis.  Always, I went here and there, to and from, focused on the road or the bike or walking path.  I was very goal-oriented in my movement, intent on where I was going, not noticing my surroundings in the moment.

After my dad passed, I felt lost and alone.  While driving and listening to my music, “The Sweetest Days” came on, sung by Vanessa Williams:

Both of us so unbending

We battle the fear within

All the while, life is rushing by us

Hold it now and don’t let go

These are the days, the sweetest days we’ll know

So we whisper a dream here in the darkness

Watching the stars ‘til they’re gone

And when even the memories have all faded away

These days go on and on

Every day is the sweetest day we’ll know

Listening to the words, I started crying.  I thought of arguments I had with my father – so petty now.  I felt that my parents didn’t understand me.  The Christmas before he passed, Daddy bought me a bottle of Obsession perfume.  He had watched the commercials featuring strong, professional women and thought “Robin will like this,” and presented his gift to me with pride.

Was I thankful?  No!  My preferred scent at the time was Bijon.  I interpreted his selection as another sign that he hadn’t taken the time to know what I really wanted.  This exacerbated my feelings that he didn’t want to know the “real” me, with my fears and vulnerabilities.  He only saw what he wanted me to be, what was expected of me.  How could his love be authentic?  I expressed my displeasure, asked for the receipt, and let him know that I would be exchanging the perfume immediately.

Fortunately, I came to my senses before my dad passed eleven months later.  During his final days, I was able to tell him every single day how very much I loved him.  Months later, sitting in my car, I thought about that Christmas Day and how I wished I had reacted differently.  I was reminded of how short life is and how, not only is it important to be loving as much as possible, it is important to appreciate each day and moment.  Time goes by so quickly.

I remember the day of my dad’s funeral.  I actually felt astonishment that people kept moving, that life kept happening.  I felt that time should stop.  Just give me some time to think, to adjust.  But it didn’t.

As I drove and listened to the music and my memories, for some reason I looked up at the sky.  Looking at Nature’s artwork, I felt peace, comfort, joy, wonder and the gratitude that I had not timely expressed.  Since that day, I have looked up.  When I wake up in the morning, when I’m driving, when I’m walking and riding my bike, I look at the totality of my surroundings.  Every day, God’s new creation reminds me of Life’s sweetness and grace.

Lionel Richie’s song “Time” expresses what I’ve grown to realize:

Time don’t give a damn about tomorrow

Time don’t really care about those yesterdays

Time is only watching all the pain we bear, all of the joy we share

Do we care?

Time to wonder

Take a look around at all the time you’ve wasted

Take a look around and know that you’re just passing through

Will you find the truth that lies inside the darkness?

Will it ever come to be that you find the key that will set you free?

What are you going to do with your life?

What are you going to do with the time that you’re living here?

It’s time to wonder

 

I want to make sure that I am not wasting my life; that I am showing appreciation, kindness and love, even if it takes me awhile to get over feelings of resentment and anger.  I’m trying to find that key because I want to be free.  I want my time here to have meant something.  I want to touch lives and not simply focus on what I want and need.

I want to remember that today is a gift and that I should receive each moment with an open and grateful heart.  I want to treat each day and each person as the sweetest I’ll ever know.

Videos of both “The Sweetest Days” and “Time” are in PathLinks.  Take a look!