I had a dream that I lost my bicycle. I was devastated. When I woke up, I thought, “Am I going to lose my bike in real life?” One side of my mind responded, “This is attachment. You still have things to learn. The dream is making you aware of a weak spot.” My other side argued, “Why shouldn’t I want things? That bike enables me to stay healthy, to exercise my body. I’m so tired of dealing with loss. It seems as though I’ve been dealing with loss my whole life. What am I supposed to learn? I’m tired of painful lessons. I need clear guidance. What am I supposed to do? Why is this happening? What is the point, the meaning?”
A few days earlier, I had a job interview. I prepared well, dressed to impress, and left an hour and a half early. Traffic was decent. I arrived in the area with time to spare. For some reason, I kept missing the correct exit and driving around in circles. I called and asked for directions. Drove with the receptionist on the phone and STILL could not get on the right road. Arrived at the interview stressed, late, and had to run to the bathroom before I could speak properly to the HR person who greeted me. Of course, I made a horrible impression and did not get the job.
After the bike dream, I asked additional questions. “Why didn’t I see the exit sign clearly? Is something happening to me or do I simply have too much on my mind? I’m not focused. I’m thinking too much. I don’t know. I feel like a failure. I’m incompetent.” I know I’m supposed to wake up with the joyful expectation of a child, but I’m still upset about arriving late to the interview. I decide to get up and meditate, even though clearly I’m not hearing God or my spirit guides.
After meditation, I played my praise music. “The Great I Am” by Donnie McClurkin is an old school fast piano playing song. I started jumping and dancing like one of the happy ladies in church. I needed someone to come fan me. Next came a really old before my time song, sung by a group of old men, Lee Williams & The Spiritual QC’s. “So Good To Me” talked about being thankful for getting through the night ok, being able to stand on two good legs and walk, opening your eyes and being able to see, the little things that we take for granted.