“Here I Am” by Marvin Sapp
The above link is to the song “Here I Am” by Marvin Sapp. It is on my GospelLinks page. However, I have placed it within this PathPost because I feel so strongly that it applies to me right now. The potent lyrics are:
Here I am. I’m still standing.
Here I am, after all I’ve been through.
I’ve survived every toil and every snare. I’m alive.
There were times when I almost gave up and I’ve cried and said, “God, it’s too much.”
Yet, I’m standing here today with one thing to say, “God, I thank you. I thank you!”
All of the pain that I had to go through, it gave power and a testimony.
Now, I’m standing here today with one thing to say, “God, I THANK YOU. I THANK YOU!”
In February 2014, my consultant contract did not get renewed. My unemployment benefits ran out in October 2014. Except for a two week project that ended this past Friday, I have had no income. Zero! Nada! Yet, today, I stand – still very much overfed; in my own house for which I have made no mortgage payments in over a year; still driving a car that continues to get me to and from wherever I want and need to go, although it needs major maintenance and I pray for safe passage each day. My computer works and I have phone and Internet access. I may have let it go for five or six months, but I found a way to get my hair braided (and to buy hair!☺). After recovering from health issues, I have resumed bicycling, swimming, and yoga, which require expenditures. On and on. I have more than survived and I am SO VERY THANKFUL!
Yes, my worst fears came to pass: I couldn’t pay my bills. My credit is shot. My phone and Internet services were discontinued. My family stepped in before my utilities were shut off. I have submitted at least five loan assumption and modification packets to at least four entities because I KNOW AND DECLARE that I am not losing my home to foreclosure. I couldn’t afford gas; therefore, I walked wherever I needed to go or stayed home. There were so many things that I couldn’t do or buy because I had no money, things that I used to take for granted.
How did I make it through a year with no income? Friends, family, associates and acquaintances, people I hadn’t heard from in years gave me expected and unexpected financial support: direct cash, online deposits into my checking account, groceries, a credit card to buy toiletries, household supplies, and printer cartridges. People took me out to eat, after which I brought home leftovers. I am regularly treated to movies and other social activities.
Typing this, I become emotional. Listening to Marvin Sapp’s “Here I Am” makes me cry with amazement and gratitude. Here I am. I am standing after all I’ve been through.
But there’s more to this story.