During my meditation, I realized that I had been creating from desperation. Once I lost my job, I developed an intense focus on regaining and, then, maintaining employment. There was no thought as to what I wanted to do or what would be compatible with my intentions or desires for my life. I concentrated only on bringing in money by any means necessary.
The jobs that I created and kept out of desperation were never good for me. I worked in stress-filled environments from which I created more stress. I didn’t realize that I was creating the seeds of my future. Sickness blooms from a deficient seed. Trying to fix leaves and blossoms without addressing the roots of the tree is unproductive.
From what other negativity have I been creating? Pessimism? Lack of passion? Belief in lack and limitation? Hopelessness? After meditation, I decided to tend to my core of joy and contentment that is eternally in the moment. Thinking about future negative possibilities causes me to live in fear and anxiety. Thoughts held in mind produce in kind.
I look back on my life and all that I had and it was never enough. When stressful situations occurred, I let my happy get away. Today I acknowledge that others did not and do not take away my joy. I have a choice. I have the power. I don’t know what is going to happen in the future. I don’t know how I’m going to make it through my challenges. But, if I can’t be joyful at all times, at least I can work on being appreciative, grateful, kind, and positive.
Knowing me is key. When I know myself, I can better perceive the actions of others and respond instead of react. I believe that people give, receive, and exchange energy, often in negative ways. We may subconsciously draw anger upon ourselves to reflect feelings of inadequacy. Our lives are mirrors. We exchange energy based upon our levels of consciousness. If I am aware of the love within me, I can interact with the love in another. However, if my consciousness is at a level of pain, I will give and draw energy to me from this base.
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