I have had an intense urge to deep clean my house. I have been cleaning window sills; floor baseboards; walls; sweeping ceilings; dusting books, photo albums, dolls and figurines; orange oiling everything wood. The amount of dust and grime revealed almost reduced me to tears. Why did I wait so long?
My office will be the culmination of my efforts. Here, I will have to get rid of years of files, including those of my mother who passed four years ago. While preparing her final taxes, I had to take deep breaths and step away several times before I finished. Over the years, bit by bit, I have gotten rid of her clothes and other personal effects. Now, I am ready to at least move to the garage for later shredding documents that evidence how she lived and handled her life. This is a very daunting task; but, space has to be made to accommodate the new. I have to move on. I am ready to move on.
I feel a shift. Like a cloud has lifted. Energy has been cleared. A new door has opened.
Recently, my dreams have emphasized the color brown. In one, a brown person was dressed in brown clothes and a brown hat. My dream book stated that brown represents the earth, spiritual death, and degradation. Initially I thought, “That’s not good.” After a few days of thought and meditation, I had a different reaction.
Earth represents the material. Spiritual beings in the body must manifest the material to survive and to nurture and please ourselves. A human body must have material sustenance and live in physical abodes. Perhaps the meaning of my dreaming the color brown is that the manifestation of my desires and intentions is imminent. I am about to move beyond barely surviving to abundantly thriving.
Perhaps my spiritual death reflects an evolution from caterpillar to butterfly. I am breaking through my casing and radically transforming into something greater. The old me is dying, dissolving, to give birth to the new.
In a past journal entry, I noted that, during meditation, I received an awareness that the removal of cherished circumstances from my life is to enable me to see the One Light. While I was surrounded by superficial light, I refused to see the One Light. I wrote: “it is only in darkness that you become more aware of light.”