Riding on a train from Saratoga to New York City, I had a vision that I was going through an initiation. I was led into a forest. Everything was dark. I was told that a path would light up. I was to begin walking on this lighted path and stay on it no matter what happened. If the path disappeared, I was to sit down and go through the experience and endure whatever presented itself until the path appeared again. Even if I felt that I was falling or felt the touch of a giant spider (my greatest fear!), I was to know that these were all illusions. I was to remain seated until I saw the path again, even if I felt as though I was drifting through space.
About a week later, I was sitting in a park after experiencing a painful experience with a now former friend. I was thinking about how unfair life was and how cruel people are to each other. As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I thought that whatever initiation I might be going through was not as simple as monster spiders and floating in space. It is constantly attempting to stay focused on a spiritual path, focused on God, and not letting the emotions of mortal beings negatively affect my own energy and make me react.
It is the unconscious feeling of separation from God that makes people act the way that we do. If each of us knew that we were all powerful, that we were rich beyond belief, that we were so innately full of joy, we would not even think ill of another person, much less hurt him or her. It’s our feeling of lack and limitation in our own lives that makes us lash out at others.
My reactions to people who hurt me keep me from my good because I buy into their feelings of separation. If I learn to not react, even if it appears that I will lose everything that I cherish, then I will gain more than I lose. By keeping my focus on God and not the changing ways of man, I receive of God, not of man. This is a hard practice; to me, it is more stressful than fighting back.
The choice not to fight back should not be based upon submission or fear or lack or loss of self. It should be a conscious choice to stay focused on God and God’s path. I choose to stay in my temple and be an observer of others and not a participant in their separation energy.
I read a book entitled The Tree by F. Sionil José which ended sadly, with little hope for mankind. It described a great tree that started out as a sapling. Weeds came up and strangled the sapling. Then the weeds grew thicker and eventually formed the trunk of the tree. Out of this weed trunk grew many branches. Ultimately, the tree grew to be mighty and long-lasting. But underneath the tree grew nothing. The tree had no roots.
I thought this to be an apt description of most mortal life. But not me. Beneath me, above me, around me, through me, is Spirit. My body is grounded in Mother Earth and all of her wisdom. From the center of this earth emanates all that is known of this planet. This land is fertilized by the ashes, the fire, the blood, the tears, and the sweat of my ancestors. Knowledge, life, love, death, wisdom, and energy all come from beneath, above and through me, intermixing with Spirit to manifest in physical form that which Spirit desires. I am not that weed tree. I am a being with roots, vibrant, beautiful, and ever growing into the fruition of my being.