I am moving closer to my goal of letting go and letting life because I don’t see any rational reason for recent occurrences.  The artist Prince died and there doesn’t seem to be an acceptable reason for his premature death, or for the passing on of many others who provided much joy, inspiration, and innovation to the world.  Prince was a genius, a philanthropist, and a supporter of just causes.  He didn’t seem to have any type of psychosis or mental issues.  He performed up to the time of his sudden death.  He was a good person.  Why did he leave this realm to which he so positively contributed?

Two days after Prince died, I went to the memorial service of an associate.  She lived a wonderful, spiritual, and giving life.  She was very well loved by everyone.  She appeared to have everything and lived “right.”  Why her?

I look at Steve Jobs.  All of his money, status, and technology couldn’t save his life.  Why?  Wouldn’t the world continue to benefit by his presence?  There are people who abuse their bodies and/or other people every single day.  Defying all odds and statistics, they live long and sometimes prosperous lives.  Sometimes, I think that Earth is hell and the ones left behind haven’t done whatever we’re supposed to do to make it out.  That theory doesn’t make sense, however, because many people are living joyful and fulfilled lives in this here and now.

I look at people whose lives I might have chosen for myself.  I think, “their lives are so great.”  Then I learn that they are going through life challenges that I couldn’t imagine bearing.  Maybe they lost their homes, loved ones, and every single thing they own in a fire, earthquake, tornado, landslide or war.

Some people have financial abundance, but undergo health challenges.  I have to accept that I don’t know why things happen.  There doesn’t seem to be anything that one can do to avoid suffering.  You can be this great wonderful person who everybody loves.  You can be a genius.  You can be a zillionaire and still have insecurities and childhood issues that you can’t seem to resolve.

I’ve been around long enough to see that there isn’t a simple explanation.  There isn’t an answer that says if you do “this,” you will have an absolutely perfect, pain free, and struggle free life.

Sometimes I want to throw my hands in the air and scream with frustration.  I’m like the child that continuously asks: “Why? Why?”  Perhaps I should not attempt to influence the direction of my life because the future is uncertain and unpredictable.  Obviously, this is not a viable solution.  I’m not going to sit and do nothing.  I am going to continue to try to become the person that I want to be.

I want to live a life of purpose.  I want to live to my fullest potential.  Trying to clarify my numerous thoughts, I recalled a statement made during meditation: “May I be free from emotional attachment to the results of my study.”  For at least three years, I have read this aloud while, at the same time, thinking: “That’s not even possible.”  Yet now, I think this statement best states what I feel. Accept and work through whatever life presents.  Be aware of my perceptions about temporary phenomena.

Much of my unhappiness and despair about what is happening to others reflects my vision of myself in relation to the external world.  I need to look within and discover why I become so emotionally affected by my perceptual judgments.

Science of Mind founder Ernest Holmes taught that life is ever expanding even after we leave our physical bodies.  I believe this intellectually.  If I truly internalized it, I would know with certainty that whatever goes on while I’m in my body is temporary.  After I leave this physical shell, life goes on.  Therefore, I don’t need to become attached to any occurrence.  Within this particular life span, I may pass through bushes with lots of thorns, valleys, pits, and quicksand.  But the next shell that I embody may experience different so-called challenges.  This applies to everyone.

It’s all so relative.  Why get attached to pain, pleasure, or joy?  It’s sunny today. Yay!  If it’s raining and storming, maybe I’ll find something to do inside.  As a work in progress, I am learning to adjust to whatever life brings.  In this particular moment, I’m alive.  I’m breathing.  I still have the opportunity to do or be or think anew.

And the external world?  It is our school.  Our University of Life.  When we learn what we need to know; when we fulfill our purpose; when it’s our time, then we will move on to our next level. Accepting that truth will answer my whys.