When I was 19 years old, I read a book called “The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment” by Thaddeus Golas.  Since then, I’ve read it again at various times in my life.  This book motivated me to change my vibration level by meditating.  Over time and changing circumstances, and most likely because of my Christian background, I began to use meditation as a means to secure necessities and desires.  Coming full circle, I have returned to my original intent to change my vibration and energy, to increase my awareness, and to go deeper into understanding.

Many years ago, I received an awareness that, no matter what happened, I was to remain seated within a circle.  I didn’t fully comprehend this at the time.  Looking back years later, I saw that I ran away from intense challenges or ran aggressively forward in confrontation.  Never did I sit quietly in contemplation or acceptance.  Over time, I grew tired of banging my head against the wall.  I grew weary of and exhausted from conflict, resentment, and pain resulting from judgment and condemnation – whether mine or that of others.

Now, I primarily meditate to center myself, to connect to that which is Eternal and Infinite, and to access within myself joy, peace, harmony, and understanding.  I now fully understand what it means to stay seated within my circle.  Not only do I meditate, I find time to be still, to read, to listen and reflect.

I practice various forms of meditation.  I prefer to sit in silence.  Sometimes, however, I cannot stop my thoughts and my mind races with worry, fear, and anxiety.  In these situations, I use guided meditations.  On occasion, I fall sleep with selected meditations playing in my ear.  I believe in the adage, “Thoughts held in mind produce in kind.”  From personal experience, I know that – regardless of the reason, rationale, or justification – unproductive energy will materialize in my life when negativity of any kind emanates from my thoughts, speech, and behavior.  So I’ve got to keep my mind focused on the positive by any means necessary.

Meditation, whether silent or guided, helps to calm me.  It helps me to hold onto my faith while I’m going through the fire.  One morning, I awoke agitated, upset, and overwhelmed with panic and dread.  I had no desire to do anything but lie in bed with the covers pulled over my head.  I decided to mediate.  An hour later, I experienced a peace that I carried throughout the day.

During this critical time in my journey, when I may be close to achieving a new level of consciousness, there occur many distractions that can cause me to stray from my path or give up.  Meditation strengthens my focus and resolve and returns my chaotic mind to a balanced and neutral state.  A tranquil mind allows awareness to expand.  Subsequently, I am able to act instead of react, to create instead of constantly negating, to heal from trauma and drama, to figure out the why and the how, and hang on until reason prevails.

Through meditation, my faith increases.  I am better able to sit in the face of discomfort, irritation, unfairness, threat, and chaos.  I have begun to ask: What am I projecting?  What effect does this have on what I am receiving?  Often, I remember to be grateful.  Although I am not where I want to be, I am healthy.  I have way too much to eat.  I am still in my house.  Although there have been disruptions, my utilities still work.  God has provided for me through many people.  Friends, family, and strangers have stepped up at the very moment the well ran dry.  I am so very blessed and remember to say “Thank you” when irritation and complaint arise.

I am on a mission to reprogram my brain and, thus, transform my life.  Growing up, I wasn’t taught to look within myself and discover my infinite potential.  No one taught me to manifest my reality through my very own creative power.  My existence has been so impacted, shaped, and influenced by external powers that I forgot how to create for myself.

I am now working to reconnect with my original Source of power and knowledge.  It has taken the loss of almost all of my external resources to force me to draw upon the power within.  In this sense, I am very grateful.  I see the purpose behind the perceived lack and limitation in my life.  I have been pushed to grow beyond my comfort level.

Pregnancy of any kind entails a period of being uncomfortable.  Giving birth is the most painful part.  So when I feel that I can’t take much more, I tell myself that the “baby” is almost here.  Meditation helps me to breathe through the contractions.