My friend was contemplating whether to go on a weekend trip. She has lived a very conservative life and is trying to break out of her boundaries. She has not done anything that was unplanned and about which the result was uncertain. We had a very interesting discussion. She said that her mother has lived a very full life, has traveled internationally, and had many wonderful experiences. My friend said that she didn’t want to have regrets about what she hadn’t done.
I told her that I have lived like her mother; but, in the totality of my life thus far, intense joy has been matched by intense pain. I wasn’t wishing her pain or trying to say that my experience is one that all must enjoy and endure. The essence of what I tried to communicate was that, if you live a full life and explore unknown paths, you’re bound to make mistakes and suffer the consequences of those mistakes. Looking back, I probably wouldn’t even classify them as mistakes. I would catalog them as “paths taken that didn’t end where I thought they would.”
My friend said that there was also a suffering that comes from not exploring. I said yes. So since either way you suffer, you might as well get hurt doing whatever the heck you want to do.