Last night I woke up at 2:30am, worried about how I will pay my various bills.  Almost instantly, feelings of peace and happiness overrode and surrounded that anxiety.  I feel that I am going to create something and that I’m going to be ok.  This time, my creation will come from the peace and joy within me instead of the usual fear and desperation.  Therefore, it will be just right for me.  It will further my goals and be compatible with the ways in which I want to live and express myself.

I feel a shift.  Yesterday, I explained to a friend that we work for years on our swim stroke techniques or on developing a skill or craft.  We must have that same intent and perseverance in developing our consciousness.  Because we are infinite, there is no end to our evolution.  There’s always more to learn and further to expand in every way – energetically, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

When I returned to swimming and bicycling after seven months in recovery from a broken foot, it was like starting over.  My ankles and muscles hurt.  I was exhausted.  I felt as though I was swimming through mud.  My coach would say, “Stop focusing on speed.  Focus on your technique.”  I remembered swimming with another coach who focused mostly on drills instead of straight lap swimming.  Her swimmers swam less mileage during workouts, but performed better in competition.  Boring and tiresome drills build muscle.  They strengthen your arms and legs, which build the ability to utilize correct form.  Proper stroke and body position propel you more swiftly with less effort.

Nine months later, “suddenly” I became faster.  That’s how I felt last night.  “Suddenly” I felt a shift in consciousness, like I know that things will work out.  I’m going to be able to keep my house, to pay my bills, and to move more concretely towards my goals.

I am trying my best to demonstrate faith and trust.  I praise and thank Spirit throughout my circumstances.  I stay calm and focus on my good.  I am determined to remain in my circle this time.  Years ago, I had frequent visualizations of being instructed to sit inside a circle on the ground.  No matter what horrible things came at me, I was to know that they could not touch me inside the circle.  I didn’t associate those dreams and thoughts with anything.  Looking back, I see that I never stayed within my circle.  I ran away, fought, screamed, cried and defended myself in every manner.  Not once did I sit quietly in my circle and observe.  Not once did I feel protected.  I always felt that I had to DO something and my DOING was motivated by anger, fear, frustration, and resentment.

Last night, as I repeatedly tried to go back to sleep, I envisioned myself lying in my circle and not running away from my fears.  I visualized myself safe amidst the terrors surrounding me, knowing that they are illusions.

Today, I discovered that my unemployment benefits had ended when I thought I had two more checks forthcoming and had budgeted accordingly.  I wouldn’t be able to pay all of my bills.  I took a deep breath, remembered my circle, and calmed myself.  I read my inspirational texts, listened to my praise music.  When anxiety arose, I meditated, prayed, and affirmed that all of my needs and desires are met.  I stated repeatedly, “I am rich.  I am prosperous.  Money flows to me freely and copiously though many channels.”  I spoke about my faith and trust in Spirit to other people.

Out of the blue, a friend called and said that she woke up this morning with an urge to give and wanted to take me grocery shopping.  I hesitated, but made myself say “ok, yes, thank you.”  I can’t keep affirming and declaring my abundance, but reject it when it comes in a form other than what I envisioned.  I must check my pride and receive thankfully.

I paid my accountant for preparing my tax return with the last money I had in my checking account.  Looking at her summary, I saw that I have an unexpected $1100 refund check coming!!  That is $200 more than I expected to receive from unemployment!  So I will be able to pay my bills!

I have been and am so very blessed.  I know that I am on my way out of my valley.  Spirit is great – all the time.  I’m the one who needs to practice perfecting my technique.