I have visions of a past self.  I call her “the Priestess.”  She is able to directly connect with the Source.  I don’t yet have the name she and her people used.  Once, I sensed that she was reading my written intentions that I periodically state aloud after my meditations.  She expressed irritation at the part where I affirm that all of my bills are paid and my financial obligations are met.  The Priestess abruptly disappeared.

I was confused and, thereafter, asked her to tell me what I should instead be doing.  No answer.

During the next morning’s meditation, I focused my thoughts on God and the infinity of abundance and harmony.  As I continued to meditate on this infinity that is beyond comprehension, I thought of my list of items and suddenly understood.  The Priestess thought that my specific desires were a sign that I still did not comprehend God.  I had not evolved sufficiently to interact with her.

The infinity of God cannot be limited, contained within, or guided and directed by a list.

I began to focus on Infinity and remembered my past lessons when I understood that I became too focused on yoga, swimming, bicycling, etc., as my joy, instead of seeing them as instruments to access JOY or as manifestations of the Creative Energy working in and through me.

When I focus on lack, I focus on obtaining money and jobs instead of focusing on the Infinite Abundance within me and creating from that Assurance.

During my next meditation, I asked for guidance.  I began to silently say: “I see God.  I hear God.  I understand God.  I feel God,” and feel the corresponding eyes, ears, heart, and mind.  I meditated on these self-made mantras whenever I felt my thoughts wander.  I expanded to “I understand God (consciousness).  I receive God (cells).  I give God (exhaling).  This led to visualizing God flowing in and through me, as me.  I am God manifested.

I began to say, “I see God’s abundance.  I feel God’s abundance.  I hear God’s abundance. I understand God’s abundance.  I give and receive God’s abundance.  I thought of the boy in The Alchemist who turned himself into the wind.  Initially, I thought of God as having dominion over the wind.  As I continued to contemplate, I felt God as integrated within and throughout the wind.  God is the wind.  There is no separation.  The boy became aware of himself as God unseparated, God manifested.  He, thus, became aware that he was also the wind and, by this comprehension, was able to transport himself to another location.

When I realized how the boy could create this miracle, I saw money as energy, as a manifestation of Infinite Abundance.  I saw me as integrated within and throughout this Energy.  I saw me drawing to myself the part of me which expresses as material the infinity that I am.  I saw me expressing infinite health, wealth, and harmony as a tree grows branches and blossoms.

When I came out of this wonderful meditation, I decided to focus on this Reality throughout the day, to see God in everything.  To see God’s abundance in everything and everyone.  To hear God.  Understand God. Feel God.  Receive God.  Give God.

I gave my lack and limitation to God and We as God transformed this illusion.  We absorbed it into the infinity that is God.  We received abundance.  Received money as Its material expression.  Felt money.  Saw money.  Heard money.  Understood money.  Gave money.

I asked for and received the guidance that is within me.  I determine to operate from an awareness that God is my sufficiency, that lack and limitation are illusions in the face of the infinite abundance that is God, that is me.  There is only God.

Sometimes I feel a chuckle of joy within me.  Like a laugh electrifies my body.  But I can’t grasp and hold on to it.  I can’t repeat it at will.  I feel that this is my joy breaking through to my consciousness.  Whatever I am doing is working.  Not as fast as I would like – yet.  But I can only receive what my current state of awareness allows.

In each moment, I am focusing on opening that window and expanding my trust in the Presence within me.  My awareness is growing and becoming more constant, more automatic, and more effortless.