Do you ever find yourself repeating something that you thought you left behind long ago? Sometimes life is like a geometric equation. You think you’ve got it; but, all you really had was how to solve that particular problem. You aren’t yet as skilled as you thought.
A week ago, I sat in meditation trying to rebalance and reground myself from the week’s drama and trauma with certain family members. I re-visited the dream described in a previous post and saw it differently. I was swimming away from shore and from other swimmers, seemingly safe, into open water which didn’t have any boundaries. Then a giant appeared and tried to drown me. That could be analogized to my family members. Now I see the giant as them energetically saying, “Don’t change your vibration. Stay with us.” If I react with resistance and stress, then I’ll stay at that vibration level. I won’t be able to move on.
I am changing and some who are close to me are no longer pulsating at a compatible level. It’s not that they want to hold me back. They are expressing their vibration level more intensely. Our paths are diverging and they must shout in order to make themselves heard. Do I return to their path in order to hear them more clearly or do I keep moving in my new direction?
My dynamics with my family are changing. Change is always challenging. This is what I need. This is what I want. This is what I must do to move forward in my life. I am closing out an aspect of my relationship with my family because I want a different way of interacting. I am moving away, swimming away from that shore.
During my meditation, I realized that, many years ago, I created a circle of ancestors whose purpose was to protect me and act as a gate. I have many ancestors or associated spirits, not all of whom support my particular journey towards where I want to go and what I want to be. One of the reasons I took psychic classes was because I was very distracted and distressed by many energies coming at me from all different directions. This was holding me back, so I requested a protective circle of ancestors whose purpose would be to block those spirits impeding my progression. My circle of ancestors push me, support me, and protect me as I grow to my fullest potential.
Another interpretation of my dream is that the “ancestors” are spirit beings on a different vibration level saying, “We receive you.” The giant reflected my previous level saying “Don’t go. You won’t survive if you leave.” Yet, I didn’t drown. I’m not drowning. Because I chose to move on, the beings surrounded us, engulfing us in their energy, and the giant disappeared. It could not or would not exist at that energetic level. Therefore, we no longer occupied the same space.
Because the dream preceded the family drama, I see it as a premonition and a solution. The week’s ego crisis reflected my breaking away from the typical sacrificial female role among certain members of my family. I am disengaging myself from what is expected and acceptable within that group. In the most recent situation, I was not sufficiently rooted in my worthiness and my power. I felt overwhelmed and threatened. Although I responded defensively, I succumbed to the pressure to conform and later felt angry, hurt, and saw myself as a victim.
Nevertheless, the experience was a tremendous learning opportunity. Being surrounded by ancestors or vibrational beings in the dream meant that I don’t have to respond from a place of fear or need (e.g., how will I survive?). I am protected. God is my source. I became aware that the resistance that I experienced reflected my own consciousness that is afraid to let go and walk into the unknown.
The army that came against Elisha was struck blind, only so that they could not capture and harm him. God later restored their sight. They were given food and drink and sent home as free people. Throughout the whole ordeal, Elisha was not afraid. He did not fight them. He did not give in to them. He stood with strength and assurance, knowing that he was surrounded by a force greater than the army.
Reflecting on my dream and my week, I see that all that transpired, though painful, strengthened me. Maybe I broke through energy that was blocking me and that is why I experienced so much turmoil. I’m moving onward. I made it through another storm. The sun of my peace, my calm, my joy, and my thankfulness shines again.