Self-Imposed Blocks to My Good

beauty of nature

My alarm clock woke me to go to my swim team workout.  I am trying to be consistent.  My coach counseled: “Even if you don’t feel like it, come anyway.  That’s how you’ll improve.”   That morning, not only did I not feel like getting out of bed, I felt dizzy.  My stomach hurt.  I felt abnormally tired and achy.  I concluded that I was sick.  I should just get back into bed.

Despite my excuses and my body discomforts, I continued to get dressed and pushed myself out of the door. Surprisingly, I had one of my best swims!  I got into a faster lane and was able to keep up with my lane mates.  I felt so good after the first workout, I stayed for another!

This revealed to me that my mind seems to resist going to a higher level.  It likes routine and doesn’t want to venture into the unknown.  It wants to maintain the present comfort zone and keep things right where they are, even if the conditions are not optimum and going forward would be better.

When I’m about to go to a new level, be involved in something new, or expand my horizons, hardship and obstacles seem to occur to keep me from progressing.  Could I be creating these blocks to my good?  Sometimes, everything seems to be going well, but I become lethargic. I don’t want to do anything but eat and watch TV.  Why?

As much as we want to leave our present, we may have a subconscious fear of the unknown, even if that future will be predictably good.  For example, there has not been one time that I have regretted going swimming.  I always say, “I’m glad I came.”  Yet, that knowledge rarely helps me bound with enthusiasm out of a nice warm bed.

Another reason may be that we like to lead.  We want to dictate the how, why, and when of our lives.  Life is like dancing with a partner.  We have to let go of control, to stop resisting, to let go and let God.  We have to relax and let our Divine Partner lead.  Let Thy will be done, not mine.  This is not to say that we shouldn’t have direction; but, it may be productive to acknowledge that new dimensions, new understanding, and different ways of being may be beyond our current comprehension.  If we want to live a life beyond our imagination, we have to learn to be receptive to the guidance of Infinite Mind.

It is our finite mind that creates illusory boundaries and fears that sustain an existence of lack and limitation or of safe and seemingly secure sameness.

I’ve discovered that, if I push through this resisting energy, I move forward.  Whether it presents as challenging physical circumstances and people or whether it presents as anxiety-producing illusions of my mind and body, if I take some action, no matter how small, I will get to the next level.  If I make myself get up and begin to do something, I will expand in some manner.

Most importantly, when I change my thoughts about whatever is going on, the situation changes.  This is hard to do in the moment.  It helps if I plan in advance and determine to stay positive no matter what.  I decide to accept, to agree, to be less reactive, to not habitually interpret words and actions negatively, and to be friendly and kind even in the midst of rudeness and unfairness.  That last one is extremely hard.  The best that I can do on most occasions is to keep a neutral tone and facial expression.  But I’m trying.  It is a practice.

What I’ve found is that, as I change, my circumstances are changing.  Joel Goldsmith states in his book The Infinite Way: “It is not that Spirit produces or heals or corrects matter or the physical universe, but that we rise higher in consciousness to where there is less matter and, therefore, less discord, inharmony, disease, or lack.”  When we transform ourselves, the world around us is transformed.  We experience fewer obstacles that always seem to pop up when we’re trying to evolve.

I want to see my life as flowing, so that my evolution is fluid and not experienced as one stage or another to which I become attached.  If I see myself in constant motion, then there can be no perception of “my place,” and, therefore, no resistance to being in a different environment or trying on a new persona.

I aspire to be like water and air, able to take on form and experience according to my needs and desires.  As such, I will be one with any environment and not resistant to it.

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